I just totally went off on my roommate
And kind of started crying.
Today while I was on my bike a cop yelled at me from inside his car as he was going by that ‘I couldn’t honestly think that was a proper way to operate a bike.’ And the thing is, I was not doing anything law-breaking or unsafe that would in any way put citizens [or their property, hey capitalism] at risk. The motherfucker was mad that I had the nerve to cut in front of his cop car in order to get into the left lane to take a left turn while his car (and all others at the intersection) were completely stopped and the light was red.
Like I have my entire life when people have done shit like that to me, I internalized it and felt awful for a while. Then I started thinking about it and realized that I didn’t even know what I did wrong. I don’t understand how what I did was in any way ‘not proper’-there was no other way for me to get into the left lane, and thus not hold up traffic while I tried to take a left turn, unless I had ridden up farther and cut in front of the first car in the line as the light was changing. I have been riding my bike through that intersection, in that manner, for about seven months and have never caused a problem.
As I mentioned, I have this thing about internalizing shit that people say to/about me. I’m really fucking sick of doing that. I’m fucking tired of feeling bad about myself after not doing anything wrong. The CPD is notorious for being full of pigs-multiple cases of rape, torture, and what most sane people would consider murder have been brought to light-and this is not the first time I’ve had to deal with their shit. You know where I mostly have had to deal with their shit? The food pantry I volunteer at. There’s something wrong with that.
My whole life when an authority figure has made an assault on my character, I took it lying down and internalized it. Fuck that. I fucking know right from wrong just as well as if not better than any cop. And maybe the CPD should find more productive things to do than shit on harmless bicyclists.
/endrant